A couple of years ago I signed an offer the same afternoon it landed, and later found out a colleague on the same team had quietly turned the same starting number into something higher, just by asking (I've written the full story here). I'm not going to repeat that whole account — this is the shorter, practical version: the actual checks I now run before replying to any offer, written for the ten minutes you have between reading the email and typing a reply.
The checklist
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1. Say thank you, then buy yourself 24–48 hours
A short reply — "Thank you, I'm reviewing the details and will come back to you by [date]" — is completely normal and expected. Nobody has ever had an offer withdrawn for asking for a couple of days.
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2. Check the number against the actual market, not a feeling
Look up the going rate for the specific role, level, region and sector — not a generic national average. A number that feels generous in isolation can still sit below what the role typically pays locally.
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3. Separate "total package" from "base salary"
Benefits, bonus structure and pension matching are all real value, but they're not always the easiest thing to move. Know which part of the offer you're actually asking to change before you open the conversation.
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4. Decide on one number, not a vague range
"Somewhere a bit higher" is hard for anyone to respond to. A specific figure, backed by what you found in step 2, is much easier for HR to take back to whoever approves it.
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5. Ask for a short call instead of negotiating by email
A two-minute call where you say the number, calmly, with a reason attached, tends to land better than a long written justification. It also makes it easier to hear what's actually driving any hesitation on their side.
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6. Expect "let me check" — that's not a no
Most first responses to a reasonable counter are a pause while someone checks a budget line, not a rejection. Silence for a day or two is routine, not a bad sign.
"The letter is a starting position, not a verdict — the only way to find out if there's room is to actually ask."
If you've never done this before
The reason this list feels obvious to some people and completely foreign to others usually isn't confidence — it's exposure. If nobody around you has ever walked you through what a reasonable counter sounds like, it's genuinely hard to know where to start. That's the actual gap, and it's a closeable one: it's a specific, structured skill, not a personality trait.
I picked up most of the structure above from a course I'd recommend to anyone who wants to practise this properly before the next real conversation, rather than improvising in the moment.
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